My water broke around 8:00 AM on Sunday, April 12, 1981 and when labor hadn't begun yet at 11:00, I was getting quite nervous. In Illinois, when my water broke with #1, they insisted I get to the hospital right away or infection could set in. In Utah, with a different doctor and hospitals that are VERY practiced in childbirth, I was told to "relax" at home until I had regular contractions. The longer it took for them to begin, the longer I had to worry; the longer I had to worry, the longer my blood pressure had to rise. By the time I was admitted to the hospital, I was well on my way to a good case of hyper-tension and before the evening was over, the doctor had given Randy a choice between me or the baby.
Fortunately, no one told me about how close I had come to death until I was well on the road to recovery the next day and I thought I had a healthy baby girl. I don't really remember too much about my labor or her birth other than the fact that when I first looked at her, I remember looking at her and saying to Randy, "There's something different. Something very special about her." And then I screamed for them to take her as the doctor tugged on my attached placenta and I began to hemorrhage.
The next day, my family doctor came in to tell me that he was turning the baby over to a pediatrician because they had detected a heart murmur. Nothing to worry about they said. Lots of children are born with heart murmurs and only 1 out of ___ turns out to be anything serious. At that point we should have taken some bets on her, because every time in her life when a doctor gave us unlikely odds in relation to her health, she was ALWAYS the "1." As she was going to have some preliminary tests right away, it was suggested that she have a blessing beforehand. That was great, except she didn't have a name! Yeah. We were planning on a boy and we were going to name him Bart, after the missionary who taught us the discussions before we became Latter Day Saints.
So, what were we going to call her? Randy finally came up with a good solution. Since we obviously couldn't name her Bart, he suggested we name her after Bart's father, Sam. Sam Chournos already had a daughter, Sami, named after him and I wasn't exactly sold on my baby having the same name, so Randy suggested Samantha and time would tell if Sami became a nickname or not. (Turned out that Sami was only one of her many nicknames, including but not limited to Sambo, Simbo & Bimbo! Surely you can see the natural progression there!) Then he suggested something that REALLY amazed me. He suggested the middle name of Rae, after my father, Raymond. Randy really could be sweet, kind and sentimental when he wanted to and thus our second daughter was given a name and a blessing in my hospital room in Bountiful, Utah: Samantha Rae Sloan.
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| Samantha Rae Sloan 4 months |
Considering Samantha's health, it is quite odd that she was the largest of my five children, weighing in at 8 lb. 10 oz! Her initial exam and chest x-ray indicated that her heart murmur was more than even the pediatrician wanted to handle on his own and we were referred to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City for a heart catheterization by the time she was 6 weeks old. It is quite traumatic to see your newborn baby in a drug-induced state of paralysis, necessary to keep her still during the procedure. Again we were told that only 1 in ___ is truly a serious heart defect that affects the quality of life.
Roll the dice... we win!!! Samantha was diagnosed with Tetralogy of Fallot with dextra-cardia and a corrected transposition and the Sloan family came to learn a great deal about cardiac medicine! The "Tet" meant that Samantha had 4 major defects of the heart including pulmonary stenosis and an absence of the wall between her ventricles. It also included a "transposition of the great vessels" which meant that her aorta and pulmonary artery were switched. Normally, a child born with that has to have immediate surgery or they die. The fact that she had a "corrected" transposition meant that somehow, by the grace of God, these two arteries had corrected their processes in utero, basically doing one another's job and she worked! To add to those "minor" problems, her heart was also on the wrong side (hence the dextra-cardia) and her heart was twisted, somewhat like someone took a washcloth and twisted it.
The dextra-cardia actually lent itself to a little bit of fun in her life. When she was starting school, I taught her to put her left hand over her heart to say the pledge and Sam and I have a special joke about every time someone new puts the leads on her chest for an EKG. No matter how many times you try to tell them that the leads need to go on backwards, they always tell us "I know how to do my job." And we invariably say "Okay." And then we get to giggle as we see them sheepishly return to the room to redo the EKG, reattaching the leads....
While we've had some fun with her heart, it's also caused it's share of trauma. She ended up with a brain abscess shortly after her second birthday, which had NOTHING to do with the DPT shot she received a few weeks before, even though the bacteria found in her system was a staph infection referred to as the "golden staph" and was connected to a whooping cough epidemic and the DPT shot injected live pertussis vaccine into her little body that allowed dirty blood to mix with clean blood in the ventricular chambers and be distributed to various parts of her body. (If you think there may be some sarcasm involved here, you may be right.) That brain abscess was another 1 in ___ chance and then all of the infections that took over her body afterwards because her immune system shut down were a 1 in _____________ chance!
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| The girls after Sami's brain abscess Summer, 1983 |
Her brain abscess required emergency brain surgery and resulted in her new introductory line when she met new people. "I'm Sami and I have a broken heart and a hole in my head."
She's had two open heart surgeries, the first one when she was eleven and got her "zipper" and a human valve from a 21-year-old woman who had passed away. The second was in March of 2009 and Samantha remembers "Wilbur" and wishes him a happy anniversary every year since. Yes, she now has pig parts. The odds have worked out well here. When she received her first transplant we were told that they were hoping the valve would last 8-12 years, but she actually got almost 17 years! Woot! Woot! We're hoping for another 17 on Wilbur's parts. Sam has an excellent cardiologist who monitors her closely and takes good care of her.
But enough of all that medical stuff, 'cause Sami is sooo much more!
You know... most mothers wish a child "just like you" on their children. Well, my mother never wished a me on me, but I got one anyway! Yep. Sami is my clone. She looks like me. (I actually freaked myself out when I looked at her senior pictures. For a minute I thought I was looking at a picture of myself when I was younger 'til I realized the hair was too dark and there was a dimple in the cheek!) She has my sense of humor. (She was always the one who would laugh at my lame jokes at the dinner table when all the other kids were moaning; I likewise laughed at hers.) My oldest brother only met her once, as a teenager. Bill saw her and said "You look just like your mother." I don't remember her comment to him, but his reply was "And you're a smart aleck like your mother too...."
I've decided that it's a two-way difficult street with the kid who's just like you. It's hard on the parent just because it's always hard being around someone with your flaws; you see them more. But it has to be real torture being the one just like your parent. I mean, can you get away with anything??? They've already got your number. They know what you're up to and what you're thinking before you even know it yourself! (Sorry Andi Beth! You might as well give up now. Your mother AND your grandmother have your number!) Consequently, Sami Rae was the only one of my kids I had REAL problems with as a teenager. She was constantly getting an attitude with me over my rules and how I ran the household after Randy and I got divorced. Many the nights went by that Samantha was told to pack her bags. I'd be sending her to live with her dad in the morning if she thought it was so terrible living with me....
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| Teenage Sami December, 1995 |
And he said "What?"
And I asked, "Will she be able to have children?"
"Well, why not?"
"Well, because of her heart."
"What's her heart got to do with it? The rest of her works just fine."
Thanks for making me feel like an idiot Dr. Herb!
But... he was soooooo right! Sami Rae has a fabulous, goofy, loving, supportive husband and they have 4 beautiful children: Andreia Elisabeth (Andi), Dylan Kent, Peyton Brian and Addison Samera (Soni).
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| The Carters Sam and Cameron with Dylan, Soni, Peyton & Andi |
Sami was my goofy one that would do just about anything too. When we were staying in a hotel in Ohio for a month before we could move into our house, the cleaning lady accidentally threw out the lid to our kitchen trash can. What 5-year-old was willing to go dumpster diving to retrieve it? Sami What pre-teen was willing to help me clean out the turkey roaster that was left in the garage with last year's turkey in it? Sami Which kid was willing to pop out of a garbage can, dressed like Oscar, and lead the Grouch Anthem from "Follow that Bird" for a church "cheap night out" talent show? Sami. Who got lost trying to tell a mom how to bring her home after babysitting, relentlessly took her turn going to knock on doors to sell Girl Scout cookies, learned how to cross-stitch, always wanted puzzles for Christmas, sang her heart out to "I'm Bringin' Home a Baby Bumble Bee" at kindergarten graduation and annually entertained the family wearing the Christmas tree skirt while dancing the hula to "Christmas Island?" Sami!
Many people would be embarrassed to be reminded of such things by family members, but another one of Sam's good qualities is that she's able to laugh right along with them. Because, in spite of her temper (which she did NOT get from me), she loves people. She especially loves her siblings and she knows they just tease her about it all because they know they can and she'll laugh too.
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| Sami in Kindergarten |
Anyway, while we were in line waiting for midnight so we could buy the DVD, I commented to her that it was too bad that we couldn't go to any of the theater releases together and inspiration struck! "Sam, I think that when the last movie comes out, we should go together!"
So, this past November, I headed to Texas, along with extra daughter Jana (Stokes) Newell and we went to the Twilight Saga MARATHON! That morning we headed to the theater early and waited in line until they opened the doors for all the crazy ladies who were there to watch all five movies, one after the other! And it was a fabulous! I know everyone probably thinks we're insane, but it was a fabulous memory that will last forever!
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| At the "Twilight Saga" Marathon November, 2012 |
So, how do I wrap this up? How do I let a daughter know how much I love her, how proud I am of her and how much I appreciate having someone to laugh with me when no one else will? Hopefully, this song will say it all! I love you Bim!
Tennessee Birdwalk
Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL!
Beautifully written about a beautiful woman! We love you Sami! You make us so happy and we are so grateful that you are in our family.
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