LL #2: Jana and Her Mom

Jana and her Mom

I've picked up a few "extra" children in my life.  I inherited them from my own children.  They were always the best friends of my kids and they all had a welcome, happy spot in my home and in my heart.

One of these "extra" kids of mine is Jana (Stokes) Newell.  Jana was Brooks' roommate and best friend at BYU-Idaho, but her sense of humor, knack for making the absurd a reality and her loving nature cinched her place in the family with all five of my children.

Today, my heart aches for our Jana Mae.  I know how she feels.  I know what she's going through and yet, there's not a thing I can do to take away the pain or the sorrow.  Two days ago, Jana lost her mother and Jana's life will never be the same.

The real tragedy is the fact that Jana just got her mother back a few years ago.  She had been in poor health all of Jana's life and it seemed to be getting worse during the years Jana lived with me in Post Falls, Idaho (2006-2011).   There were many times that Jana almost wished that her mother could pass on then, to end her suffering and the pain it caused her father to watch the suffering.

There were times in Jana's adolescence that it was just Jana and her "pops."  Her mother was in a nursing home part of the time and even when she was at home, Jana had to be a caregiver; forced to grow up and help her dad as best she could.  In fact, during the time Jana spent with Brooks and then with me were the first times in her life that she could recall actually feeling like a kid; enjoying doing a lot of the goofy things teenagers usually do

But, then, the last few months I lived in Post Falls, Jana began getting reports of her mother's improving health.   Jana didn't want to get her hopes up, but she really seemed to be on the mend!  She even began traveling with Jana's dad and made it up to Post Falls to visit Jana!  As her health improved, she had the opportunity to see two grandchildren born (to Jana's older brother, Jay) and to see Jana married to her wonderful husband, Matt Newell.

Donna lovingly looking at her grandson

The day before Donna passed away, she commented that she had never felt better in her life and as she was going into the hospital for an MRI on May 24th, she told her son, Jay, that it wasn't her time to go yet.  Sadly, Jay now remembers that as only the second time in his life that she had ever lied to him (the first being Santa Claus).

So, now, as Jana and the rest of her family wonder why now?  Why, when her life was so good? Why when they were all so happy? And I have no answers for them and can offer them nothing that will take the pain away, all I can say is Hunny... remember the good times.  Remember the laughter and the love and know that she had the blessing of experiencing it all for one more period of her life.  Rather than losing her when she seemingly had nothing to live for, now she was able to take with her the joy, the love and the laughter.  She'll be watching over you all now; preparing a place for you all when you join her when your life's journey draws to an end.  

But in the meantime, Hunny.  Laugh.  Remember the happy times and the fun.  I know no one else will understand this video clip, but I hope it will bring you some laughter through the tears.  

Sweet Caroline

(Mwah, Mwah, Mwah...Good times never seemed so good...)

Well, hopefully that didn't backfire on me and make it worse.  Know that your Sloan family loves you and is thinking about you and focus on all the good that your mother brought into your life. She was a good woman who loved you with all her heart.  Love ya, Hunny...

Those were the Days