YA #11 pt.1: Tell the story of meeting Randy's family

So, before I dig into the subject of today's blog, I need to recognize a very special young fan.  Turns out my beautiful granddaughter loves reading my blog. She texted me today while I was still at work, asking me if I was going to do a new blog post.  I told her I was going to do one tonight and then she texted me fifteen minutes later, telling me that she was looking at the one from the twelfth again, looking to see if I had posted the new one yet.  Since Brooks created this blog for me so that my grandchildren could get to know me better as they get older, I figured this grandma better try to do a better job at doing it more frequently.  So, Cari, tonight I'm thinking about you as I tell you all about the day I met my mother-in-law, and I promise I'll try to do a better job of writing more often!

So.  My mother-in-law.  D'Arbra Lou Defore Sloan, born March 12, 1932.  A loving, generous, albeit maybe a bit eccentric, woman.  If you'll recall the story of how I met Randy (January 31, 2013 post), we were introduced by our friend Curt.  Well, Curt also gets the credit for introducing me to my new "mom."  You'll recall that I met Randy on Oct. 26, 1974. Curt's older sister was getting married about a week later and her reception was being held at a club (Lions', Elks', something along those lines), but their family needed to clean it up and decorate it before the wedding.  Curt drafted me (and my friend/sorority sister Robyn Wise, or was it Leslie Wilson?) to go help his family clean the club. And clean we did.  It was all very nasty, but I made the mistake of saying that I didn't mind cleaning bathrooms...Ugh! 

Anyway, because of all our hard work, we were invited to attend the wedding and reception.  So, we didn't know a soul in the church except for the brother of the bride, until I noticed some people come in and sit in the pew behind us.  I glanced over my shoulder and there was Randy, smiling at me (he'd helped clean the nastiness too), seated with a woman and a young girl.  So, we sat through the wedding, made it to the reception and Robyn/Leslie? and I sat down at a table.  Shortly afterward, Randy came up to our table with the woman and girl and introduced his mother and 12-year-old sister, Amy.  (I believe he introduced me as "Zeke")  His mom blurted out, "Well, I wondered who that girl was smiling at Randy in the church!"

Talk about embarrassment!  I mean, remember, by this time I had already had the revelation that this was the man I was going to marry.  Anyway, then Randy DITCHED us!  He left Robyn and I there to sit and talk with his mother and little sister!  Well, fortunately, Mom is real good at leading a conversation, because I didn't have a clue what to say to her or Amy!  But, we all got along pretty well and a unique mother/daughter-in-law relationship began.

Mom has always been in search of all things natural that can cure or prevent illnesses.  I suffered from a terrible case of acne as a teenager and she was bound and determined to help me get over it.  When she learned that my mother had died of cancer and my father had been diagnosed with cancer she wanted to offer help to him too.  Through pregnancy I was encouraged to drink red raspberry tea to build a strong placenta.  She had me on Co-Q10 before it became popular.  I learned that garlic is a natural antibiotic and she saw to it that we always had a bottle of Kyolic liquid garlic in the refrigerator and if any of my kids got an earache, it was two drops in the ear with a cotton ball to keep it from leaking out and the earaches were gone.  (Brooks recently confessed to me that she used to like to get the garlic in her ears because it tickled!)  When my kids got colds, they were treated with Vicks Vapo-rub, Vitamin C and garlic.  They never minded it much, except Sami likes to tell the story of her embarrassment one day when she'd been taking garlic to get over a cold and had gas in elementary school.  I doubt that she thought too much of it until after one "toot," she heard another kid sitting near her say, "Does anyone else smell garlic bread?"  She even used to try to bribe the kids to take some of her concoctions and I don't recall the exact circumstance, but I know cow urine was involved somehow!  All very well intentioned actions, but wow! What memories and stories my kids have of their grandmother!

And a loving grandmother she is!  She drove cross-country, by herself, non-stop from Illinois to Utah to be with us when Sami, Brooks, Brandon & Barton were born.  And whenever she came to visit, she turned down offers for a bed or a couch in favor of sleeping on the floor by the crib to be close to her grandbaby.  There were times it irritated me (because I knew I could get the baby back to sleep better by myself); there were times it embarrassed me (who lets their mother-in-law sleep on the floor?!?!); but, I ALWAYS  appreciated the fact that at least my children all knew that they had one grandmother who was there for them and loved them, when my mother was no longer with us.

She taught my kids the power of positive thinking.  "Everyone close your eyes and picture the light green so we don't have to stop."  She taught them meditation. "Everyone sing 'Hu' now!"
She encouraged them to think of their future careers. "Well, Banny.  You're pretty good at unclogging that toilet. You could be a plumber!"  The stories of her influence are endless and I hope as they read this blog, maybe they'll consider sharing a little memory here or there.

She is a VERY giving, generous woman!  Always sneaking money to the kids or to me for little extras she knew we couldn't afford.  Always making sure the kids had clothes to wear and shoes on their feet.  Always thinking of us all when she'd go garage-saling.  Always offering to buy whatever natural cures or preventive natural medicines to benefit any of us if we would just agree to try it.

We've had our rough patches.  There were moments when I was afraid of her, but I never stopped loving her.  She still has the little "MOM" plaque hanging on her kitchen wall that I gave to her the first Mother's Day after I met her.  By that time, my mother had been gone for over four years and it felt so good to have someone act like a mom for me again.  She didn't have an easy life growing up and I believe it took its toll on her emotionally and she certainly has a temper.  But, no one's going to push her around and no one is going to hurt someone she loves without hearing about it; she's the proverbial "mama bear!"

I was reminded of exactly how much I love her and miss her this past September when it looked like we were going to lose her for sure.  She had been pursuing one of her natural cures and accidentally nearly poisoned herself.  It was tense for days and she was in a nursing home for a couple months and she just recently was released from dialysis.  I was so happy when I was actually able to talk to her on Christmas and she sounded so good and optimistic about her health when I talked to her two days ago on her birthday; just like the mom I'm used to.

Another thing about her... she never turned her back on me after Randy and I divorced.  She's still MY mom too.  Not all women can say that about their ex-mother-in-law, but I'm lucky.  She doesn't just love me because I'm the mother of five of her nine grandchildren.   She loves me for me.  She loves me as a part of her family.  I have been fortunate and blessed to be given a second mom to be there for me for the last thirty-eight years!  Love ya, Ma!