I know this question is about my "brothers," but this blog will only focus on one. William Edward Zielke is my oldest brother and today is his birthday! Born February 10, 1945 he was named for two great-grandfathers and one grandfather. William Zielke was our paternal great-grandfather who came to America from Germany. William Haag was our maternal great-grandfather who was a first generation American, born of parents who also came from Germany. Edward was our Grandpa Hill (see post from Jan. 22).
"Billy" was the oldest in our family, and consequently the responsible protector of the family. He also knew what he wanted. When he learned he had a baby brother when he was almost three years old, he declared to my grandmother that he was gonna take him and "throw him in the ocean," so set he was on having a baby sister! Obviously, I don't know too much about Billy's younger years, as he was ten-years-old when I was born.
I do know that he was a great big brother though! He used to read me stories. He used to give me stuffed-animals. He used to like to argue and was a great debater. (My daughter Meg inherited that skill!) At the time it just used to annoy me, but thinking back on it, I think he was probably trying to get me to think myself; to imagine the what-ifs and to realize that things aren't always what they seem. He used to take care of me and he used to comfort me when I cried. Sure he teased me, but he had my number too and could call me out when no one else could. In fact I was a bit amazed when he met my children as teenagers after barely a few minutes in their presence he was able to call Samantha out too... "You're a smart-aleck; just like your mother."
Sad, but true.
Billy gave me my first taste of what it meant to REALLY miss someone. Within weeks of his high school graduation, our family moved from Aurora, Illinois to a farm in Watertown, Wisconsin and shortly thereafter we delivered him to Iowa State University for his first semester in the pre-vet program. I remember being excited for him and I was excited to be living on the farm with my pony and dogs and cats. But one day, I was laying on the couch in our living room and happened to look over at his senior picture on the end table. Suddenly, I was overcome with inconsolable tears. I bet I cried for at least a half hour. I really missed my brother and really wanted him to come home.
I think it was a little hard on Bill when I grew up and suddenly had a mind and opinion of my own. I was so used to everyone spoiling me and taking care of me, I just did what everyone wanted because it had to be the right thing to do. I remember the first time I stood up to him. It was at my father's viewing the night before the funeral. I saw one of my aunts at the casket with a camera and asked my brothers to ask them to stop. They refused, saying they had a right to take the pictures if they wanted. I knew, however, that my father would not want to be remembered lying in a casket, but would rather be remembered smiling, laughing and having a beer at a family reunion. When my brothers refused, for the first time in my life, I stood up to them. I told them that if they wouldn't talk to our aunt, I would. And I did. I'll say that my aunt was very understanding and respected my wishes, but I'm quite sure I shocked the socks off Bill and Al. Li'l sis never had that kind of guts before.
Bill married Patricia Ann Thomson in Grayslake, Illinois on June 3, 1967. Their son, Todd William, was born on my 13th birthday and their daughter Kirsten Marie was born on my brother Al's 23rd birthday (which also happened to be his daughter's 2nd birthday!). Unfortunately, our beloved little imp, Kirsten died two months before our father, making it a really rough year for Bill.
After our father passed away, Bill and Pat invited me to spend the summer between my Sophomore and Junior years of college with them. That was probably a bad move. Part of it was great. Bill helped me pick out and purchase my first car and we had some really good times that summer, but "little sister" was gone and "devoted big brother" had more adult concerns to deal with, working to finish his masters degree while managing a Clark Oil gas station. I also didn't see eye-to-eye with Pat on a lot of things and I'm sure Bill felt like he was in the middle, and I'm also sure I didn't make it any easier on him. I was too used to getting my way with my big brother and him taking care of me.
Things were never the same with our relationship after that summer. I never stopped loving him. And I've missed him dreadfully over the years, but you can never recover what you've lost in relationships. It's hard to believe that I feel such a strong love and attachment to a man that I really only knew and lived with for eight years of my life, but the love and attachment are there.
A few months ago, Bill came to Seattle on a business trip. He let me know he was coming and I drove to his airport hotel to have dinner with him. It was so good to see him. He was still my big brother. A bit older. Looked a bit more like our father. But, the same piercing blue eyes that seem to be able to see right through me. To know what I'm thinking.
Bill is still working. He had retired from General Motors after a career as an executive with them, but he lost his retirement with the government bailout a few years ago. The blue-collared union workers were taken care of; the executives were not. So, he's working with no sign of retirement in sight. He is under constant surveillance as his work frequently takes him to foreign countries, especially China. He undergoes TSA hold-ups in airports, his phone is tapped and his emails are traced; all because he's trying to earn a living, doing what he knows how to do.
I called him today to wish him a Happy Birthday. He was actually on vacation in Florida, without his family. It makes me a little sad, but he sounded good, so hopefully, that was his choice. I love my brother. I wish I knew something that I could have done to make his day special, but hopefully, the fact that I called and we actually spoke for the first time in a long time on his birthday, he'll know how much I do love him and think about him.
My advice to my children and grandchildren? I've taught you all your lives that no matter how many quarrels or disagreements you may have; no matter how frustrated you may become with one another; stick together and stick up for one another. A blood-tie is more powerful than you can imagine and the day will come when you wish you'd done more with/for one another, no matter how close or distant you are. Love one another and love your aunts, uncles and cousins. We have the gospel in our lives and we are an eternal family because Families can be together forever....
Well I had a bad fight with sarai but this made me feel way better
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