Now, I know I've said it before. I LOVE kids. I love MY kids. I adore my grandkids. BUT... love and adoration have NOTHING to do with a HAPPY Mother's Day!
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| 5 Reasons to love Mother's Day November, 1984 |
So, if I love kids, my kids and my grandkids, why hate Mother's Day? Well... let's think about it, in terms of women in general. Thinking of single women or those who are unable to have children. It's a day of sadness for these women. A constant day of reminders that they have no one to call them "Mom." I realize that some women handle this just fine, but for others, it's pure torture.
Then, let's think of those whose mothers passed away or children who were abandoned by their mothers. What demons haunt them on this day? I began hating Mother's Day in 1971, the year my mother passed away. Every Mother's Day from then on, I was reminded of the years that I've missed having my mother in my life and the lives of my children. I know. Quit throwing yourself a pity party, Carol and get over it. But, this is my blog and I can say what I want, right?
Next, let's think of those mothers/grandmothers who no longer have anyone at home. A day when well-meaning friends wish them a Happy Mother's Day when all that does is reminds them that they're alone, without those who call them "mom" or "grandma" at home.
Then we come to the Mother's Days endured by mothers of children between the ages of one day to 18 years. Mothers look forward to Mother's Day. At least I did! The day when my sweet children would treat me to breakfast in bed and my husband would make dinner for the family and love and harmony in my home would abound! Right.... Does that work for you? It never did for me!
I'm convinced that Mother's Day is the day of the year that Satan stirs up his minions and assigns them to sit upon the shoulders of every child in the world, encouraging them to fight, bicker, whine and cry more than any other day of the year. Come on. You know it's true. And if you can endure it with a smile, you're a much better woman than I. One year it was so bad, by the time we pulled into the church parking lot at 8:45 AM, I told my five adolescents to get out of the van and I would be back to get them in three hours and I left. Not something I'm proud of, just illustrating a fact.
While I'm complaining, let's not forget the single geranium or zinnia plant in a mini-pot that someone thinks is going to bring me ongoing joy and a reminder of the love and appreciation of my efforts as a mother. It's not so bad since I figured out that I just need to give it away to someone who is actually excited about getting theirs immediately. I've learned that if I actually bring it home with me (mostly out of obligation or guilt), it's a constant reminder of how bad I am with plants and how black my thumb is until the day I realize it is totally beyond revival and I throw it in the trash, cursing myself for killing one of God's creations! I realize not many people like carnations anymore and roses are expensive, but I could appreciate a single tulip or a daffodil....
Or chocolate!!! What woman wouldn't appreciate chocolate on HER day, especially as she's surviving all the arguments and tantrums of the day!
Okay. Indulge me through one more rant. I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for thirty-three years and I know that more than half of those years, I have listened to sweet primary-aged children sing the song "I Often Go Walking" to the congregation as a special Mother's Day tribute. Ugh. I really do NOT like that song. It's too sweet and sappy for my taste. Fathers get "I'm So Glad When Daddy Gets Home" with a cheerful, peppy tune and motions to accompany the words. Mothers get this and today was no exception. The words are nice enough and the sentiment is nice. But the tune is totally sing-songy and just sets my nerves on edge. At least these two have put a fun spin on the song for their mother as they wish her a Happy Mother's Day! (Makes me wonder if they created this YouTube video as a torture for another mother who doesn't care for the song and attempted to make her laugh!)
Nope. Traditional Mother's Day recognitions are not the ways that let me know that I'm loved and appreciated by my children and grandchildren. It's the little grandson who finally decides that you're okay, takes your hand and lets you help him. Or the one who giggles with you as you read a book and looks at you with light in his eyes. Or the granddaughter who jumps out of the swimming pool and runs to give you a big, sopping wet hug. Or the granddaughters who have art projects and poems waiting for you when you come home from work. Or the grandson who holds back the tears when he has to say good-bye. It's even in the ex-husband who calls to make sure you're okay; the same one who never presented you with a card or flowers on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day or birthday, but always knew when it was a bad or sad day and chose those moments to send flowers or indulge in a special dinner.
I Often Go Walking Video
I often think I'd like to have a musical funeral; a series of my favorite songs and hymns. However, my greatest nightmare then would be that my children would organize my grandchildren to sing this song as a special send off to the spirit world!
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| 10 Grandchildren in 2008 |
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| 14 Grandchildren in 2011 Ever try to get 14 kids under 8 to smile at once? |
Nope. Traditional Mother's Day recognitions are not the ways that let me know that I'm loved and appreciated by my children and grandchildren. It's the little grandson who finally decides that you're okay, takes your hand and lets you help him. Or the one who giggles with you as you read a book and looks at you with light in his eyes. Or the granddaughter who jumps out of the swimming pool and runs to give you a big, sopping wet hug. Or the granddaughters who have art projects and poems waiting for you when you come home from work. Or the grandson who holds back the tears when he has to say good-bye. It's even in the ex-husband who calls to make sure you're okay; the same one who never presented you with a card or flowers on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day or birthday, but always knew when it was a bad or sad day and chose those moments to send flowers or indulge in a special dinner.
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| The oldest five-Black Friday Shopping with Grandma! Ethan, Dylan, Sarai, Cari & Andi 2011 |
"All of your grand children are growing little flowers;
A seed, stem, then some 'pettles' then a flower.
But 'evan' when they are a full flower
They will always love you!!"
Andi & Cari
June, 2012
Hey my ward gave out Symphony bars this year, come move back to Spokane, they know how to do things right! :)
ReplyDeleteThat, AND I believe Stake Conference was invented by Heavenly Father to punish us for everything that we ever did to our own mothers. Ever.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day! Ich liebe dich!!